


pulling at the seams

by wanderlusts



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friendship, Mention of Ron Weasley - Freeform, ginny oneshot, idk what else to tag, suggestion of depression/mental illness, this was supposed to be a linny fic and it might still be but who knows maybe not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-17 00:48:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20612153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderlusts/pseuds/wanderlusts
Summary: “Sorry we just gave the spot to someone else, thank you for your response and good luck.”The voice coming out of the phone trails off as the voicemail ends and Ginny drops the device in her lap. Hands wrap around her mouth and nose in a familiar movement, eyes closed tight while she breathes - in and out in and out.





	1. pulling at the seams

**Author's Note:**

> hey lovely person reading this! i wrote this a very long time ago and i just reread it and decided i wanted to post it. when i started writing it, it was with the idea of making it a linny fic but i might leave it like this, i’m not sure yet! anyways i genuinely hope you’ll enjoy this little piece i wrote <3 
> 
> (title is from sun by sleeping at last)

_ “Sorry we just gave the spot to someone else, thank you for your response and good luck.”  _

The voice coming out of the phone trails off as the voicemail ends and Ginny drops the device in her lap. Hands wrap around her mouth and nose in a familiar movement, eyes closed tight while she breathes - in and out in and out. 

This is the 5th rejection in two weeks time, her chance of ever finding someplace to go seemingly getting smaller and smaller. Of course it would, it’s the middle of the semester and most people are settled down, know what they’re doing, are stable. Which is so unlike Ginny that the thought makes her shiver. 

Logically Ginny knows that if she really  _ needed  _ to she could ask her brother Ron if she could come live with him and his two best friends for a while, crash on the couch. But that’s not what she wants. She doesn’t want to bother them, and after finally leaving her childhood home and the tight grip her family had on her, she has no desire to go back. Ginny loves her family dearly, she does but she also needs her space. So really, asking Ron for help is the very  _ very  _ last option on her list. 

_ Just stop complaining, stay where you are, finish college like any other person,  _ the thought tastes like bile in the back of her throat. She tried, she’s been trying, to hold on and push through and keep going. To at least finish the semester. She can’t do it. College is too much, the weight of it too heavy. Every day feels like a pounding headache, like bricks in her lungs, like a gaping hole in her chest. Nothing and everything, too much and too little at the same time. It’s not even college’s fault, just Ginny’s. 

Classes aren’t that hard, she’s getting decent enough grades, she has a few good friends. It’s just that every night Ginny lies awake in bed, feeling like the ceiling is pressing in on her chest, like her insides are leaking leaking leaking out of her until all that’s left is a shell. An empty shell in the shape of what Ginny thinks she looks, what she must look like. Once bright hair the color of flames turned dull, dark circles underneath her even duller eyes, her skin almost see-through. And it’s all because her mind and her feelings and everything that makes up what Ginny is, who Ginny is, are fighting fighting fighting an endless battle with no way to win because no matter what happens a part of her breaks, dies. 

She has to stop. She’s going to drop out, drop out of college. She needs time to herself, time to figure out what’s happening and how she can make it better. She needs rest and maybe a little bit of safety and comfort and tea. Yeah, tea would be nice. And someone to make her tea, and someone to stroke her hair while she drinks her tea. Ginny desperately wants some tea. 

Instead of getting up and making tea, she curls in on herself on the couch, shaky breath escaping her lungs, and closes her eyes and wishes with all her might for a miracle to happen. 

-

Two days later Ginny has mustered up the courage and strength to get off her couch and make her way to class. She feels wrong, out of place, an intruder. She has been missing so many classes that by now it’s more of a surprise when she does show up than when she doesn’t. Even the professors’ eyes widen when they spot her sitting in the back of a class or walking through the halls. 

Ginny is rummaging through her backpack to find her sunglasses and block out the low, autumn sun when she hears her name on the wind. She looks up to see Cho jogging up to her, black hair swishing from left to right in her ponytail, eyes lit up by the sun or her smile or both. Ginny always liked Cho, she’s actually one of the only people that Ginny would call a friend. The thing is, Ginny is  _ friendly _ with lots of people, almost everyone really. But there’s less than a handful of people that she actually calls her friends, that she actually trusts. Cho is one of them. 

“Ginny, wait up,” Cho says once she’s reached her, panting a little and placing a hand on Ginny’s shoulder for support. Ginny startles at the sudden contact and Cho releases her right away, eyes wide. “Sorry, sorry, should’ve asked if I could touch you, sorry.” 

“No, don’t apologise. It’s okay, just startled me, is all,” Ginny explains, a breathy laugh escaping her. “What is it, Cho?” 

“I have an offer,” Cho’s eyes twinkle with excitement and maybe a little bit of pride. “You’re looking for a place to live right? Off campus?” Ginny simply nods, feels hope seep into her lungs like honey, sweet and sticky. So hard to get rid of once it’s there. “I’m living in this student flat with a couple of other people, off campus, 20 minute bus ride away. Now I know that it’s a  _ student  _ flat and you’re planning to drop out but my friend, Neville, he needs a new roommate since the last one moved in with his boyfriend, and well, I talked it through with him and the owner of the place. They’re okay with you living there even though you wouldn’t be a student, I mean it’s not even that important right? Okay, well I asked anyways just in case. But it’s okay, they’re okay with it. So if you’re okay with it, I got you a place, you’ve got a place,” Cho talks so much and so fast that it takes Ginny a solid minute to wrap her mind around the message, and it feels like silk wrapping around your skin, so soft and gentle. 

And Ginny can’t believe it, opens her mouth to respond, closes it again when no words come out. Tries again and again, feels her lungs fill with honey, so much honey it’s like she can no longer breathe. Finally, she inhales and says, “Wait, are you serious? You mean I could go live with your friend? In the same flat as you?” And then Cho is nodding, the brightest smile on her face and Ginny feels a tear slip out of her eye, rolling down her cheek and leaving a cold trail in its wake. 

“Hey, are you okay? Need me to say it? Yes, Ginny, you can come live with us.” 

It’s those words that make the dam inside of Ginny break, the dam that she took so long to build, has been trying so hard to keep up, to keep the tears inside and the hurt from getting in. It breaks and Ginny sobs and Cho shushes her, gently wraps her arms around the other girl carefully as if more than ready to let go if Ginny wants her to but Ginny softens at the touch, lets her head fall to Cho’s shoulder and she cries. She cries in Cho’s arms for what feels like forever, cries until there’s no water left inside her body, cries until the honey in her lungs feels less suffocating, until her tears dry and all that leaves her lips are soft hiccups and Cho’s arms feel like a blanket. Only then does Ginny lift her head and she feels a watery smile grace her lips for the first time in a long time and she whispers, “Thank you. Thank you, Cho.” 

“Of course, Gin. Anything. Hey, what about I take you to my place right now okay? Is that alright? I can make you some tea and if Neville’s home you can look at your new place.” 

“Yes, I’d like that very much,” Ginny says and she feels like maybe things will be okay, like there’s a way for her to be okay maybe someday. 

Together they take the bus to the flat, Cho telling her about her day and Ginny listening in silence, letting the calmness of Cho’s voice still the worries in her head. Cho also mentions that her own roommate, Luna, won’t be home until later today so the chance of Ginny getting to meet her is small. Cho lives on the third floor, with a view on the park out front. It’s beautiful and serene and Ginny already feels more at home in this building than she ever did at campus. Or maybe it’s just Cho’s friendship that’s making her feel like that or the tea that Cho makes. It’s rooibos flavored, Ginny’s favorite. It’s warm and sweet and goes down Ginny’s sore throat, from crying, so gently it almost makes her tear up again. Sometimes all you need to feel a little better is safety and comfort and tea. 

A while later, after Ginny and Cho have been sat on the windowsill bench talking, Cho gets a text from Neville that he’s home and they can come down to his apartment. Neville lives on the first floor, view on the street but it’s a quiet street with antique lamp posts and few cars driving by, lights from other buildings visible in the near distance like twinkling stars. The living room looks lively. That’s the best way to describe it. There’s plants everywhere, and books, so many books. It smells like earth and sunlight and something old, something Ginny can’t quite place. 

Neville is friendly, inviting and open. Like a cool summer breeze or the few rare warm sunbeams in winter. He greets Ginny with a hug, asks her first if that’s okay. He talks about the apartment with pride, voice loud and cheerful. Shows Ginny where things are in the kitchen, shows her the way around the place, where to put her coat, where the bathroom is and his own bedroom and lastly the one that would belong to her, that is going to belong to her. It’s bare as of now, just a bed with a mattress stripped of sheets and blankets. Sunlight is filtering in through the open window, the walls a cream color so warm it’s almost yellow, the floor a brown wood and Ginny can imagine what she would make the place look like right away, can see herself sitting on the bed watching tv or reading a book or just staring out the window. 

Ginny sighs, smiles and then turns around to Neville and Cho. Her voice trembles as she tells them, tells herself, “I’ll take it.” 

They give her a hug at the same time, a feeling so safe and warm she gets lost in it for a second. Then they’re releasing her and they’re giggling with happiness, Ginny feels laughter bubbling out of her and she doesn’t try to keep it in. She laughs and Neville laughs and Cho laughs and they stumble back into the living room, fall down onto the couch and continue laughing. 

The rest of the evening is spent getting to know Neville, sharing stories with each other, Ginny explaining, not in detail, why she’s dropping out of college. It’s spent drinking more tea, and eating cookies and later ordering pizza and eating it on the floor, backs against the couch because somewhere along the way they ended up there and can’t be bothered to get up. And Ginny uses Neville’s laptop to dropout of college, her two friends pressing reassuring kisses to her cheeks, one for each of them and welcome her into her new home. 

She ends up falling asleep on the couch and when she wakes up Neville has left a note that they didn’t want to disturb her sleep last night because she looked like she needed it and that he’s off to college for the day, his phone number scribbled underneath because they forgot to exchange those the day before. Ginny types it into her phone, sends Neville  _ and  _ Cho a ‘thank you’ text and snuggles further under the blanket that one of them must’ve draped over her last night. Ginny realizes with a start that she slept through the night for the first time in months last night and that the ceiling didn’t close in on her and she also realizes that she’s still tired and doesn’t want to get up so she closes her eyes and succumbs to the tide pulling her under. 

The next day Ginny moves all her stuff from her dorm room into the apartment with the help of both Cho and Neville and when everything is settled, she looks around the room and  _ breathes.  _

-

Light pours in through the crack in the window, bringing with it the smell of freshly mowed grass, warm bread and lavender and the sound of songbirds and leaves rustling in the wind. Ginny reluctantly wrings the sleep from her eyes, oh how she’d love to just stay in bed and sleep for days. 

She does indeed close her eyes again and she dozes off for a few more minutes until the smell of coffee wakes her up again. If anything can get her out of bed it’s coffee. When she emerges from her room, she’s greeted by a way-too-cheery-for-this-time-of-day-Neville and a steaming cup of black liquid that makes the tiniest smile appear on her face. 

“‘Morning, I don’t know how you take your coffee yet so I left it black,” Neville says and yawns right after. Ginny pats him on the shoulder before resting her butt against the counter, taking a sip of the coffee and closing her eyes as the heavenly taste fills her mouth and her nose and her stomach until she’s entirely made out of coffee. 

“It’s perfect, Nev,” she replies and Neville smiles warmly before he sits down on the couch. 

Ginny sighs quietly to herself, a heavy feeling suddenly sinking into her stomach. It’s the coffee, it’s just from the coffee. 

Ginny joins Neville, crossing her legs underneath her butt and warming her cold hands with the warmth of her mug, her gaze unfocused on the window while the tv plays softly in the background. 


	2. golden streams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neville has informed her that they have a communal laundry room in the basement with a washing machine, a dryer and a clothing iron. Ginny balances the heavy hamper on her right hip and is suddenly very grateful that Neville’s, and now her, room is on the first floor and not the third like Cho’s. She fumbles to find the light switch in the hallway and squeezes her eyes shut once the fluorescent tubes turn on. The lights lead all the way down the staircase, like some creepy path for her to follow. This would be good for a horror movie, Ginny thinks as she makes her way towards the basement. There’s a strip of light coming out from under the door of the laundry room, indicating that someone else is there.  
Ginny feels a spike of anxiety rush through her at the idea of meeting someone new. Let it be Cho, let it be Cho, let it be Cho. She opens the door with one hand, still holding her hamper with the other and trying not to lose any socks in the progress. Ginny can’t immediately see who’s inside the room because they’re hidden by the open door but she does hear a light, melodic humming coming from the left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s the second chapter!! i really hope you’ll enjoy it. comments and kudos are always appreciated, they feed my soul <3

Later that day, after Ginny has gone through her new room and organized everything exactly how she wants it to look she decides to do some laundry. She hasn’t done that in a couple weeks and her hamper is overflowing with clothes. Her closet is also disturbingly empty and soon she won’t have anything left to wear if she doesn’t do it now.

Neville has informed her that they have a communal laundry room in the basement with a washing machine, a dryer and a clothing iron. Ginny balances the heavy hamper on her right hip and is suddenly very grateful that Neville’s, and now her, room is on the first floor and not the third like Cho’s. She fumbles to find the light switch in the hallway and squeezes her eyes shut once the fluorescent tubes turn on. The lights lead all the way down the staircase, like some creepy path for her to follow. This would be good for a horror movie, Ginny thinks as she makes her way towards the basement. There’s a strip of light coming out from under the door of the laundry room, indicating that someone else is there.

Ginny feels a spike of anxiety rush through her at the idea of meeting someone new.  _ Let it be Cho, let it be Cho, let it be Cho.  _ She opens the door with one hand, still holding her hamper with the other and trying not to lose any socks in the progress. Ginny can’t immediately see who’s inside the room because they’re hidden by the open door but she does hear a light, melodic humming coming from the left. She steps around the door, pushing it closed with a bump of her hip, and her eyes land upon a person standing with their back towards Ginny. All she can see is long, wavy blonde hair that reaches their butt, floral pants and light blue, fuzzy slippers.

Ginny comes to stand next to the stranger, finally placing the heavy hamper on top of the washing machine. She turns her head to look at the person next to her.

“Hey, I’m Ginny.”

“Hello there. You’re new,” the stranger says, not a question. Ginny doesn’t really know what to do so she just nods. “I’m Luna. Luna Lovegood. I’m Cho’s roommate. She told me about her friend moving in. Pleasure to meet you,” Luna’s voice is strangely soft. Ginny feels a little more at ease knowing that she’s talking to Cho’s roommate. Cho has told her a little about Luna and she seems to be a very nice person.

“Nice to meet you, too,” Ginny says and redirects her attention to her laundry. Luna goes back to humming and Ginny wonders what song it is. She doesn’t ask though, just lets herself listen as she pushes her laundry into the machine and turns it on. When she’s done she turns around and rests her butt against the machine, crossing her arm in front of her chest and glances over at Luna.

The other girl is neatly folding her freshly washed and dried clothes and carefully placing them inside her plastic laundry basket. She treats her clothes with such grace that it seems like they must be made out of glass.  _ Strange.  _ Ginny gets being organized and proper but she would never spend so much time on her laundry, that she’ll have to put in her closet afterwards anyway.

“Why do you do your laundry like that?” Ginny asks, boldness overcoming her.

“Oh, I just like it. It calms me down,” Luna answers and Ginny smiles and shrugs. Ginny has her comfort tea, maybe Luna has her comfort laundry. “Do you like it here?”

“Yes, yes I do! Very much. I’m so thankful to Cho for arranging this for me and Neville for letting me be his roommate. I really needed to leave my college dorms, and after dropping out I wouldn’t even have been legally able to go back there anyway,” Ginny explains and she’s not sure why she tells Luna about college. But Luna has stopped folding her laundry and is now looking at Ginny with bright, curious eyes and Ginny notices that they are a silvery blue colour. They remind her of moonlight flickering on water. She has the girl’s full attention and it feels strangely good.

This is the third time the word strange has come across Ginny’s mind in the short time she’s known Luna but Ginny finds that she’s perfectly okay with that. Ginny likes strange.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here. Neville would’ve been lonely otherwise, now that Cedric moved out to go live with his boyfriend and I am always happy to meet new people,” Luna seems to have entirely abandoned her laundry by now and for a few seconds she looks like she’s thinking about something very strongly, her brows frowned and her lips a little puckered. Ginny realizes with a start that she looks very cute. She quickly looks at the ground, shielding her face with her red hair so Luna won’t see her blush. “Do you want to come up to my room and get a drink? Maybe some tea?”

Ginny eyes flash back up to look at Luna who is smiling widely at her. She pretends to contemplate her decision for a few seconds even though there is no way she was ever going to say no to tea. Then she smiles back at Luna and says quietly, “I would love to. I love tea.” She doesn’t mention that spending some more time with Luna seems like a very good idea to her. And she  _ does  _ love tea, no lies.

Ginny checks the time on the washing machine, still fifty minutes left, while Luna finishes folding her laundry which she does seem to do a little quicker than before though Ginny might just be imagining that.

“Okay, let’s go. Tea time,” Luna singsongs when she’s done and in one swift move she places her laundry basket right on top of her head. Ginny laughs out loud and follows Luna back up the stairs.

“Is Cho home?” Ginny asks when they’re back on the ground floor. 

“No. She’s in class. She’ll be here around four though.” 

The apartment looks exactly the same as when Ginny last saw it. Soft light filters through the windows and the place smells like something Ginny can’t quite recognize. She likes it though. 

Luna motions for Ginny to sit down on the couch, which is surprisingly soft and comfortable, and walks over to the little kitchen area. “What tea do you want?” 

“Do you have rooibos? Or earl grey with milk?” Ginny asks, a little uneasy at forcing her preferences on Luna like that. What if she doesn’t have either of the two? Ginny wouldn’t mind but she’s worried it might make Luna feel bad. She feels dread sinking into her stomach like stones. 

“I’ve got earl grey and we only have almond milk. Is that okay?” Luna turns her head to lock eyes with Ginny. 

“Perfect,” Ginny replies and sighs in relief. 

It takes Luna about five minutes before she sits down next to Ginny, placing two steaming hot mugs in front of them. 

“There’s sugar in the little cup there. We always leave it on the table,” Luna points at the pink polka-dotted cup in the middle of the table. Ginny puts two tiny spoonfuls of sugar into her tea and watched as Luna puts one in her own. 

“What tea do you have?” Ginny asks, genuinely curious. 

“Just a simple green tea.” 

Ginny hums in reply and stirs her tea. Her heart has started to pound loudly in her chest since Luna sat down next to her. She wishes she didn’t get so anxious around people. Especially people like Luna who are friendly and gentle and basically sunshine incarnated. Luna even  _ looks  _ like sunshine, her blonde hair shining brightly in the light and Ginny notices for the first time that the other girl is wearing a yellow t-shirt. Ginny shakes her head with a little smile on her face. 

They make small talk while they drink their tea. Luna asks about why Ginny decided to drop out of university and Ginny in return wants to know what it is that Luna does at university. Ginny learns that she studies art and Luna shows her some of her paintings on her phone. They’re beautiful. Some are detailed and intricate and very realistic, others are more abstract but Ginny likes those the most. They make her feel something. Ginny says so to Luna who blushes a little and replies with a small thank you. 

After a while the conversation switches to their friends, one of which they share. “So who’s Cedric?” Ginny inquires. 

“Ohhh, he’s lovely. Cedric has been Cho’s friend since they were just kids. They dated for a bit when they were 15 but it ended rather quickly. They decided they’re better friends than they are lovers. Cho introduced Cedric to me and Neville when we started university. All four of us have been best friends ever since. He’s really a great guy, one of the kindest I’ve ever met,” Luna has a smile on her face the whole time she’s talking about Cedric. For a second Ginny wonders if Luna has a crush on Cedric. And then she wonders why she would care if she did. “Now, he’s moving in with Harry. Harry lives with his two best friends who are dating so I think he’ll be glad to not be a third wheel anymore.” 

“Wait, Harry who?” Ginny suddenly asks, a connection forming in her head at the name and explanation. 

“Harry Potter. Why? You know him?” 

“Oh my god! I can’t believe I didn’t know! Harry is my brother’s best friend. His roommate, Ron? That’s my brother!” Ginny rambles. 

“Really?” Luna exclaims softly. “That’s so funny! I thought you looked familiar but I didn’t want to creep you out by mentioning it. You and Ron totally look the same. I’ve only seen him once or twice but it’s very obvious. You have the same h” 

“Hair,” Ginny finishes at the same time as Luna, both of them laughing. “Yes I know. I feel like such an idiot. I didn’t even know Harry was dating someone, let alone moving in together!” Ginny cringes at her own stupidity. 

“Hey, you’re not an idiot. Never say that, Ginny Weasley.” 

Ginny stomach flips and flips and flips at Luna saying her name. “I’m sorry, I’m just not caught up on my brother’s and his friends’ lives lately. Guess I’ve got too much on my mind,” Ginny mutters. 

“That’s okay. That happens to all of us sometimes. Also, you’re his sister and not his supervisor, you don’t have to know everything that’s going on with him,” Luna says, placing a careful hand on Ginny’s wrist. Her hand is warm and oh so soft, Ginny hopes she doesn’t let go for a long time. She thinks Luna’s hand has the same effect on her as tea. 

Ginny smiles at Luna and Luna smiles back, warmth flooding through Ginny like sunshine in her veins. 

They talk until Cho comes home, having refilled their mugs twice and Cho lets out an excited squeal when she sees Ginny sitting in her living room. It makes Ginny feel good. She stands up to give Cho a hug and asks her how her day went. 

They talk for longer, filling their mugs for another time. Cho goes to pee for the third time – damn that tea – since she arrived, making both Ginny and Luna laugh. Dusk falls around them and Cho asks if Ginny wants to stay for dinner and Ginny heartily accepts the offer and they end up inviting Neville too. 

At the end of the day Ginny goes to sleep with a smile on her face. She knows that not everything is fixed and she might still feel like the ceiling is closing in on her in the future but for now she basks in the happiness that she feels with the knowledge that she has a group of good friends and a place where she feels at home. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
